Willy Nelson wasn’t available for comment, but he is presumably still alive and probably smoking weed right now. Taylor Swift is expected to be at the Super Bowl, and it’s uncertain whether or not she’ll stand or kneel during the National Anthem.
“Megan Rapinoe,” said Whoopi Goldberg, “And Riley Gaines. We can’t forget the fifth-place jar of mayo with the weird eyes.” This reporter isn’t sure exactly where Whoopi fits in or what her stance is on Toby Keith. ALLOD Psychoanalogicalist Tara Newhole says the issue all started when Reagan closed the mental hospitals and all the patients started hoarding cash.
If we’ve all learned anything from all of this it’s that if we all come together and sing the song about war, the magic cloth will freedom for everyone and God will continue to love America most. That’s not an opinion, patriots, it’s a fact.
God bless your immortal soul, Toby Keith. And God Bless America.
Credits: America’s Last Line Of Defense