Over the ensuing months, the twins-to-be were christened Skye and Callie. “We believed that Skye deserved a name before her brief existence came to an end,” Smith remarked. “Anticipating her survival for mere seconds or minutes, I yearned for her to have a name during that fleeting moment.”
The symbolism behind “Skye,” she elucidated, was that it represented a place of perpetual presence, a celestial reminder of their cherished daughter.
Premature labor struck Smith on the 30th of April, compelling an emergency C-section. To help navigate this heart-wrenching loss, the couple was accompanied by a “bereavement midwife” during the childbirth. They were ushered into a specially designated room known as the “Daisy Room,” a haven where families could share precious moments with their newborns before and after their inevitable passing.
“When our girls were born, both of them cried. This was an immensely significant moment, as we were previously informed that Skye would remain silent and immobile,” recounted Smith. She expressed profound gratitude for the three precious hours they shared with Skye before her departure. “We held Skye close as she peacefully slipped away. It was the most excruciating moment of our lives. I have never experienced heartbreak of such magnitude. Yet, I take solace in her valiant struggle to spend those fleeting moments with us.”
While Callie, born prematurely, continued her stay in the NICU, sharing the unit with three other sets of twins, the passing of time seemed to dim Skye’s memory. After approximately four weeks, the silence surrounding Skye’s existence became palpable. Those around Smith, the other families in the unit, remained blissfully ignorant of her harrowing ordeal.
One fateful morning, an unwitting mother, whose twins also resided in the NICU, casually remarked to Smith that she was “fortunate” not to have twins.
“None of the other parents were privy to our situation, to Skye’s existence. The comment was innocently made in jest…they could not have known that I, too, had once been blessed with two,” Smith lamented. She continued, “But that remark nearly shattered me. I fled the room in tears, and they were left bewildered, unaware of the reason for my anguish. A simple emblem would have averted that distressing situation.”
In that poignant moment, Smith recognized the imperative to create a symbol that would serve as an eloquent advocate for parents grappling with the loss of a child, ensuring that such misunderstandings would never recur.
She conceived a poster for the NICU, conveying to both medical personnel and visitors that an incubator adorned with a purple butterfly signified the loss of one or more babies in a set of multiples.
“I chose butterflies as a tribute to those babies that took flight, and the color purple because it transcends gender distinctions,” explained Smith.
The concept of the purple butterfly, now under the auspices of the Skye High Foundation, has proliferated to hospitals spanning several nations across the globe.
Today, Callie is a vivacious and joyful seven-year-old, and Skye’s memory endures through purple butterfly mementos and other initiatives aimed at aiding families with babies like Skye worldwide. These purple butterflies have assumed diverse forms, from ornaments and cards to blankets and stuffed animals.
“While I may never eradicate such heart-wrenching experiences, the establishment of support networks and the implementation of simple symbols like stickers can alleviate the burden. It is an ordeal of unparalleled magnitude,” Smith reflected.
For any parent, the loss of a child, regardless of their age, is an insurmountable hardship. Millie Smith stands as a beacon of hope, dedicated to extending a helping hand to others in their darkest hours.
Kindly share this narrative so that others may comprehend the significance of a purple butterfly beside a newborn’s incubator!
Credit: Cosmohost